Tell Me What is on Your Mind, Baby Girl!

A year or so ago, I found myself struggling as a Mother. I felt that I must have been doing something wrong because Allison wasn't the Allison she once was. She wasn't happy all the time like she used to be. She was cranky. She complained about everything. She was not not nice to be around. Quite frankly, I didn't like the person I thought she was becoming. I felt the strong connection we once had with each other was slowly slipping away.

Of course as I usually do with most things, I blamed myself. I told myself that it was because I was working full time. It was because I couldn't give her the attention that she needed. I felt that if I didn't have such a stressful job, then I would have more energy in the evening to be the Mom I wanted to be . . . instead it took everything I had just to get through homework, dinner, bath and bedtime.

I shared this with her teacher last year. Thankfully, she said she didn't see all of this in class. However, she did tell me that she was about to tell me something that I probably didn't want to hear. Oh. My. Word! I gasped! What could it be????? Those few seconds ripped through my soul just anticipating what I was about to hear about my once sweet baby girl!  I braced myself and her teacher said "puberty." Oh geez! I had not even thought about that! Allison is physically such a tiny little thing that I sometimes forget that she is maturing! The teacher was wrong! I am so glad she brought that to my attention. It was the answer to my frustration and self-persecution!  Amen!

The teacher also shared with me that I shouldn't be too concerned with how she is at home. Was she serious??? Did she not know that I sometimes referred to her as the spawn of the devil??? Anyway, once she explained, I understood. She said that Allison was a perfectly sweet, well-mannered little girl with a great sense of humor who was always kind and sweet to everyone in her class. WHAT??? Were we talking about the same kid????  She continued . . . she said that I should be thankful that we've created an environment at home where Allison can feel comfortable and safe. That she can let her hair down and just relax in the comfort of our home when she isn't at her best. I'll take that! It was a great compliment!

So. Now that I knew puberty was to blame for what we had been going through, I needed to find a way to bridge the gap in our relationship that was slowly getting larger. I knew the most difficult time for a Mother and a daughter was just a few years away and if I didn't handle this right away, things could really get ugly.

One of the things I saw on a blog several years ago was a Mother/Daughter journal. Sadly, they had lost their youngest child in a horrific, backyard, freak accident. Their therapist had suggested this journal idea to the Mother for a way to communicate with her older daughters. I thought it was a such a great idea! I put it back in my arsenal of Mom ideas that I may need some day.

I think the day had come that I needed to pull this idea out and put it to use. I found this hardback journal and thought it was perfect for keeping the "peace" between Allison and I.

One the inside front cover, I wrote a little letter to Allison explaining what the journal was and how it was to be used.

"Allison,
This book is between just you and me. It's for no one else to see. If you have a question, thought, or some love to share, use this journal and put it under my pillow. I will write back with my thoughts, questions, and love and return it to under your pillow.
Love,
Mom
XOXOXO"

I share it, here on my blog, not just because it's a great idea but to share a few my observations of the benefits of this journal.

• Some of the questions Allison has asked in this journal, she has never spoken of or mentioned before. This makes me realize there is a lot going on in that brain of hers. By having this tool of communication, she can ask questions or bring up subjects that she may not feel comfortable approaching in person.
• Since some of the questions are "heavy", this allows me time to think it through and answer her with my perspective on the subject in detail and completely. If I need to ask her Daddy about his opinion on the subject, again, I have time before replying.
• Another benefit of this journal is that it is used as a reference book. Allison can look back on it to review my perspective or advice on the subjects we address in this book.

These are just a few benefits but there are so many more.

If you have a daughter, I highly suggest you start one. She will get to know you a little better and you will get an inside look into the person she is becoming. It doesn't take much time at all. It is not an every day thing for us. We use it when we need it.

Have Fun!

Pin It

Fun Idea Cracker Barrel!

If you have ever had a meal at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, then you recognize the peg game to the left. They have had this game on all their tables since the beginning.

When we were on a weekend getaway before school started, we had dinner at Cracker Barrel and played this game. My Goddaughter, Maria, taught us how to play and we all loved it. So, when I saw it at the checkout counter while I was paying the bill, I had to get one! Why not, it was only $3!

It's been a great source of entertainment! My family loves the little mind stimulation and challenge.

I had it in the living room for the longest time and then I moved it to the kitchen. It was on the baker's rack but it wasn't getting played.

So. I thought I would move it to the kitchen table for easy access. It's where Cracker Barrel has theirs so if it's good enough for them, then it's good enough for us!

Have Fun! Pin It

Cousins on The Clipper!

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to take Allison, my niece, Mya, my nephew, Derek, and my sister, Alesia, on a cruise with Santa on the Gateway Clipper. For those of you who are not from Pittsburgh and do not know what the Gateway Clipper is, you can click here to find out. If you are from Pittsburgh and haven't been, I strongly recommend you take a cruise on The Clipper. It's a nice cruise up and down Pittsburgh's three rivers. I've been on several and haven't had a bad experience yet. Click on the previous link to find a cruise that suits you.

Anyway. Here are some pictures from our cruise. I hope you enjoy!

We were very lucky it was a beautiful day which enabled us to get some great outside shots.

I know I've said this before but every time I see the three of them together, I see in my mind my sister, myself and my younger brother when we were young...2 blonds and a brunette!

They were sitting on the life jacket box. My Allison was very concerned that there were 27 adult life jackets and only 10 child life jackets in there. Since it was a kid's cruise, she knew that 10 wouldn't be enough. Oh the things that pop into my kid's brain!

Here they are on the top deck almost at the point of the three rivers.

You can see Point State Park right behind them. It's going under a huge renovation but you can see the Christmas tree peeking out between the buildings.

There was lots of girl cousin fun...

...and more girl cousin bonding! Poor Derek!

There were several characters on the ship for the kids. Allison loves The Grinch so I was glad I got a picture of him!

There also was a disc jockey playing the tunes so they had fun dancing!

Even the characters danced! The kids loved it!

There was face painting on the second deck.

Here we have a poinsettia...

...and a snowflake...

...and an ornament!

I saved the best for last!

They each got to visit with Santa and receive a little toy from him!

Look at all the smiles!

I just hope he brings them what they want!

Have Fun!

Pin It

Cousins Week 2009!

In June I invited my niece (Mya who is 4 days younger than Allison) and nephew (Derek who is 6 which is 2 years younger than the girls) to come and stay with us for a week. We all had a great time! I hope you enjoy our week in pictures.

The girls went to Vacation Bible School at our church for three hours a day while Derek hung out with me. Derek and I went back for the last 1/2 hour every day to watch the daily closing program.

They got to try a lot of new (to them) foods this week. They both liked the raw baby carrots. We won't talk about Mya and the bite of cucumber!
They got to help Aunt Cindi do some cooking. They really enjoyed this as they have never done this before.
There were lots off kitty bonding.
Hmm...Nintendo DS...what would they do without them? They even taught me how to Pictochat...I hope I spelled that correctly!
They loved playing on the computer and Simba loved the attention.

Our big, beautiful "Kid's Zone Playground" was a big thumbs up for them.

Derek especially liked the rock wall.

They all liked this thing that they had to hold onto and we pushed them back and forth.

Mya did really well on it.

Even Uncle Curtis got into the fun.

Allison liked scooting up the poles.

Sibling love...or was he trying to pull her down?

Did you know my daughter had frog-like legs?

Mya took a different view of the world!

How many people does it take to help one little girl grab the handles?

There were many trips to Rita's Italian Ice.

Yum!

Silly kids!

We took a field trip to Build-a-Bear and here they are with their un-stuffed new friends.

Filling them with stuff!

Dressing them in their new outfits!

Picking their names...

and registering them for their birth certificates.

Derek with his black lab, Nick.

Mya with her snow leopard, Spotty.

Allison with her snazzy kitty, Diamond.

I had planned a night to cookout with the kids but Curtis had a different idea of a cookout.

He wanted to take us to his parents' property and cook out there. So I packed up everything and off we went.

We walked through the woods to the edge where there is a clearing in the middle of nowhere. They call it "Allison's Wonderland" since Allison loves to hike through the woods to there.

Here the girls are helping carry everything from the van.

Derek helped Uncle Curtis gather wood.

Uncle Curtis got the fire started with just one match. I think the kids were impressed...so was I. :)

Don't they look excited and proud?

Derek helping to add wood to the fire.

Yeah! Fire!

Allison made roasted me the most perfect marshmallow for my s'more!

Having a little fun with Uncle Curtis.

Derek loved his time in the woods!

Mommy and daughter!

Gal pals!

Grandma met us in the woods for our cookout.

While we were up in the woods one of his parents' neighbor stopped by to check the temperature and wind conditions. He and his son have these one man flying machines. They use Grandma and Pa Pa's clearing as a starting and stopping point. Fortunately for us the conditions were favorable so he went and got his son and we had our own private show.

Here is his son with this huge metal circle on his back trying to get a running start. His leg muscles must be rock hard to be able to do this! At least once he's in the air he gets a break because it has a little motor on it that powers him in the sky.

Here he is almost directly above us...

...and here he is coming in for a landing.

We enjoyed lunch in the park.

I also planned some crafts for them. Here they are anxious to paint their shirts.

They all did so great with their designs.

So proud with their finished projects.

The girls had a camp out on the living room floor because that 6 year old boy snored!

They had a balloon fight to keep cool!

Another craft they did was to paint and decorate the first letter of their name.

Another great way to keep cool was water boats!

Here they are on the last day wearing their finsihed shirts and...

...holding their finished letters. They loved that they spelled "MAD!"

One last craft they did was picture frames. They got to pick a picture from the week and then painted and decorated the frame to acompliment the picture.

I can say that we all enjoyed the week and hopefully my schedule will allow us to do it again next year!

Have Fun!

Pin It