A Friday Funny!

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A Conversation to Remember!

There are so many times during the week that Allison says something that makes Curtis and I look at each other with a "wow, how does she know that?" look on our faces.

She loves learning and her books of choice are non-fiction. She has two shelves on her bookcase that are strictly reference books. They are filled with encyclopedias, dictionaries and fact based books that interest her.

Her favorite television programs are on Discovery, TLC, History and Food Network. She could care less about cartoons, Hannah Montana or any of those other programs geared towards kids her age.

She remembers everything she reads or hears and uses that knowledge to carry on adult conversations when it's appropriate. It's like living with a little grown up!

We, obviously, are very proud of her. However, to be honest here, we sometimes forget that she's only 8 years old. Therefore, when a conversation like the following happens, it's a gentle reminder of how innocent and young she actually is.

A Conversation between Mommy and Allison while walking home from the bus stop last week.

Allison: "Hey Mom, I think when I'm 16 I'll be having a baby."

Mom: "What? Why would you think that?"
(I was calm to her but freaking inside!)

Allison: "Well. I know you get a baby by hanging around boys and I have a lot of friends that are boys so I'll probably have a baby when I'm 16."

Mom: "Well Allison. You are right that you need a boy to have a baby but you don't get a baby by just having boys as friends . . . and we'll talk more about that when you are older."

Allison: "Okay Mom. Can I play outside for a little?"

Whew! I know it won't be long until I'll have to go into more detail but for now, I would like to keep her my little girl for just a while longer.

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"Twisted Tune"

Yesterday they delayed school two hours because the wind chill was below zero and the wind was fierce in the morning.

Anyway. Curtis has this odd ability to change the words of a song to fit what's happening in our world. Well. This is what happened in our house yesterday.

Allison was in the living room reading. I went into the kitchen to clean up the breakfast dishes. I started to sing....

O, the weather outside is frightful...

and I'm at home with my baby...

She has a two hour delay...

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

and then in this little voice I heard...

"Let it close! Let it close! Let it close!"

I laughed out loud. I thought it was hysterical! She didn't miss a beat!

Oh no! Has Curtis's strange habits rubbed off on both of us???

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Not a Good Idea!

Princess, I'm thinking this may not be a good place for a nap!

Not that the hermit crabs would notice since all they do is sleep!

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Taking a Little Hand Rest!

I LOVE my blog readers! I've had a couple of emails asking if I'm okay.

Yes. I'm fine for the most part. You see. We started "Mom's Craft Night Out" up again last Friday. We had taken the summer off. Anyway. Over two days I ended up sanding 51 wood blocks with my mouse sander and then painted 16 of them...both front and back...two or three coats each...and then hand sanded some of them. Needless to say, my carpal tunnel in my right hand acted up on Saturday. The first two days I suffered, the next two days and nights I wore my brace and yesterday it was feeling much better.

I'm not going to push my luck though. I'm going to wait another couple of days before I type up my entry for "Mom's Craft Night Out." So for now, here's a little pic to tease you! I know. I'm bad!

One more thing before I go. A friend and I went shopping yesterday in Volant. Outside one of the little houses that have been turned into a shop was this sign posted on a pole of the porch. I laughed out loud and had to share it with all of you! Sorry for the quality of the pic...all I had was my cell phone with me.

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Someone's in the Holiday Spirit!

I'm still trying to keep my head above water but I HAD to post this! I was running around like a mad woman yesterday trying to complete things on my to do list when I saw this van! I was on the phone with my Mom and burst out laughing! I told my Mom that I wish I had my camera to take a picture of it because it was too funny! Then I realized I could use my cell phone but I was already passed it. I didn't have time to turn around but said if it was still there on my way back, I would stop to take a quick pic! I'm glad it was still there! It just makes me laugh! I hope it makes you laugh too!

Unless I post a quickie entry, I probably won't be back until after Christmas. There is just too much to do! I will have a small give-a-way though so make sure you keep checking back!

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A "Hi" from Me!

Hey!

Do you miss me?

I'm sorry I haven't posted since Sunday. I know no one probably even noticed but humor me and say you missed me. Please?

Thanks!

I knew you loved me!

Anyway, I don't have time for a post today either so there will be no Show & Tell Friday. I'm sorry but I've been a busy girl! In a few minutes I have to get my day started and tonight after work, I'm heading over to another one of our locations to judge their Bartender Championship so I won't be home until after midnight! I'm praying that this old Mom can keep her eyes open!

I have lots to share and hopefully, I'll have some time this weekend for a few posts.

In the meantime, here is a funny that my sister sent me. It made me laugh so I thought I would share it with all of you! After all, can't we all use a laugh now and again?

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People – What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress is $5000, tux rental is $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Flowers solve everything.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!

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Too Funny!

I went through a big basket of junk mail, school papers, receipts, etc. that seem to have piled up in my kitchen. Fun, huh? Anyway, you know those coupons that spit out with your receipt when you are at the grocery store, Target and other stores? They are generated based on an item that you buy. So if you buy let's say candles, you might receive a coupon for lighters or flashlights. Or if you buy one brand of cereal, it might spit out a coupon for a different brand. Get the idea? Well last week I went to target and bought 10 lbs. of cat food. That's it. That's all I bought. Nothing else. Today I came across the coupon that was attached to the receipt for the cat food. I had to scan it. It's too funny!

Here it is:

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A Musical and Classes for Men!

My sister, Alesia, came to visit this weekend. She took Allison and I to the musical of Beauty and the Beast at The Byham Theater in Pittsburgh. It is Allison's favorite princess movie and she loved every minute of it. I was a little worried that she was going to fall asleep because it started at 7:30 and her bedtime is 8:00 but she did fine. She leaned over to me at one point asked if it was past her bedtime. She doesn't have any problem asking to go to bed when she is tired so my guess is that she was starting to feel it at that time. The musical was awesome and the girl who played Belle (Leigh Ann Larkin) was adorable and what a voice! Allison loved the self absorbed Gaston. He was so funny and full of himself. I was surprised that Allison got most of the humor. The gentleman (Tim Hartman) who played Lumiere was hysterical! He delivered just enough adult humor to keep us laughing without it being inappropriate. Thanks Alesia, we enjoyed ourselves!

This next part of my post is something I received in an email. It was just too funny not to share with all of you out there. I am sure you could sign your men up for one or more of the classes. Enjoy!

Fall Classes for Men

at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

by Monday, Oct 30, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours!

Class 8

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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A Couple of Funny Pics!

It's Saturday morning and before I get started Spring cleaning my living room, I thought I would stop by and share a couple of pictures.

This pic is of Miss Allison right now. She wanted to get "all fashionable" for Grandma's house later today. Look at those legs. I don't think mine were ever that thin!

A close up of her "fashionable" hair style!

This one is of last week. Emmie (my car) had been sick for a couple of weeks. Curtis and his best friend, Rudy had been working on it every evening trying to figure it out. It was raining on the evening they thought they had the answer. I think at this point it became a challenge and the rain wasn't going to stop them. I looked outside and the pic below is what I saw. Is this a total redneck thing to do or what? I guess my 9 1/2 foot patio umbrella is good for more than just shielding the sun!

By the way, they did end up fixing the problem. It was one single relay wire to the computer. It would have probably been easier to replace the wiring harness but those two figured it out which wire it was and replaced it. Thank you guys!

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Women over 40!

I received this in an email and it's just too good not to share!

Woman over 40

I always said something happens to a woman once she's 40.. Here is a
piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are
just a few reasons why.

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you
thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's
usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40
give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they
think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends
because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40. They already know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman
of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 18-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk
for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against
marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
Pig, just to get a little sausage. Pin It